9 ways you can be a better communicator this year

9 ways you can be a better communicator this year9 ways you can be a better communicator this yearFor many of us, 2018 was a doozy, but we here at Brit + Co are ready to hit refresh in 2019 Follow ourHit Refreshseries through January and February for new ideas, hacks, and skills that will help you achieve (and maintain) those New Years resolutions.Thinking about where to start withNew Years resolutionscan get pretty overwhelming. Should you focus on wellness, relationships, finances, work, hobbies? Sincefocusing on one thing at a timecan make the process of setting ansicht yearly goals feel much more manageable, we suggest communication.You already know that communication is key - clich, but true - so you might as well work on making baby steps toward becoming a stronger, more confident communicator. Plus, improving those skills can seriously pay off in your relationships and your career.We reached out to lifestyle and communication experts to get their take on the best communicati on-related resolutions we all can be making in the new year. Read on for nine great suggestions.1. Communicate to understand, not to judgeAsking good questions within a conversation does more than cultivate that comforting back-and-forth it demonstrates that youre genuinely interested in the other person. Communication means listening deeply, coach and founder of LoveQuestCoachingLisa Concepcionsays. Asking questions with a spirit of curiosity tells the other person that their perspective is valid.2. Pay attention to non-verbal communicationRelationship therapist and dating coachIrina Baechletells us that body language is a key element of cultivating positive communication, especially within romantic partnerships.Non-verbal communication will tell you everything your partner wouldnt say out loud, she says. It can help you understand the complete message. Also, body language will boost your awareness of their reactions to what you say and do. When youre having a discussion, start tun ing into non-verbal cues like crossed arms, leaning away, and eye contact.3. Ask for clarityNot 100 percent sure that youre following what someone is saying? This year, dont be afraid to ask them to clarify This is especially important in more emotional conversations or when you find yourself feeling defensive.This may feel awkward at first, but you will find over time that we often create stories about what other people say and do, and in reality, it often has nothing to do with that, positive psychology practitioner and life coachKendra Daviessays. When we give others the opportunity to clarify, we truly allow compassion and empathy.4. Use I statements during tough conversationsYoure probably familiar with this communication rule of thumb - when arguing with a friend, family member, or significant other, its best to use phrases that start with I than phrases that start with you. All too often, though, were aware of these kinds of rules and dont actually put them into practice.Mar riage and family therapistHeidi McBainurges you to make this a resolution in the year ahead. If, for example, youre feeling like your partner has been disengaged from you recently, resist the urge to say Youre ignoring me and instead go with I feel like youre not as engaged with me lately. That change in wording can go a long way.5. Focus on listeningWeve all been in the middle of conversations in which we struggle to truly listen to the other person. Maybe its because were distracted by other things going on in our lives, or perhaps were just so busy thinking about whatweregoing to say next that we arent actually tuning into whats being said in the moment. Lets change that in the new yearCommunications improve when we listen fully, looking to understand what the person is saying, life coachMary Connollytells us. Listening to comprehend and not just to hear is key to being a good communicator.6. Create the right environment for difficult discussionsIn many cases, you know long befor e a conversation gets heated that the subject is going to cause tension. Get ahead of that tension by setting the scene. Clinical psychologist and life and relationship coachAlyssa Adamsrecommends starting these tough conversations in a quiet place with limited distractions.Go a step further toward positivity by opening the interaction with a statement about what you most appreciate about the other person.7. Find the balance between honesty and kindnessI often find that people feel like if they are honest with what they want, then they are being mean, licensed marriage and family therapistIrene Schreinersays.Were all for speaking your mind bluntly when the situation calls for it, but were also here to challenge you to work on perfecting the delicate balance between being kind and being straightforward. It doesnt have to be one or the other.8. Put your phone awayStashing your screen tops the list of recommended communication resolutions from goals coach Nadalie Bardo, the founder ofI ts All You Boo. Cutting back on phone time can have benefits in many aspects of life, but communication is definitely one of them. When youre trying to truly communicate with someone, its best to eliminate all distractions.9. Replay interactions in a positive lightIf you schliff up a discussion with someone - at work, at home, anywhere - and arent happy with how it went, its easy to overthink the conversation and get stuck in all the negatives. Public speaking consultant and coachMaryna Shkvoretsrecommends making a habit of changing your perspective in these situations.Make a resolution to replay these interactions in your mind going exactly the way you wanted them to, she says. First of all, youll feel better about it. And youd be amazed how often you can redeem yourself in a different situation, and it helps to have a clear vision of the interaction going the right way.How do you plan to improve your communication skills and relationship this year? Tweet usBritandCo.This article first appeared onBrit + Co.